So who do we attack
Now?
FP 17. Dez. 2013

Haaretz Nov. 27, 2013

So who do we attack now?
By Kobi Niv

With the Iran deal done, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu desperately needs a new target for his frustration and anger.

Excerpts:
That’s it. It’s over. The agreement between Iran and the rest of the world has been signed and sealed, putting paid to the bizarre and impossible prospect that Israel will attack Iran supposedly to keep it from acquiring nuclear weapons. From now on, one would have to be both a complete idiot and utterly mad to make so much as a peep about such an attack.

But still, as stupid, ignorant, racist and screwed up as our leaders are, they cannot do a thing about the Iranian issue except keep talk nonsense to the end of time. But the real and immediate problem is that our prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu -- whose life mission was and remains bombing Iran and saving the Jewish people from the dreadful Iranian holocaust -- is still there, with all his burning, trembling desire. So the question is: Where will he, and all of us with him, take that erection?

Full article:
That’s it. It’s over. The agreement between Iran and the rest of the world has been signed and sealed, putting paid to the bizarre and impossible prospect that Israel will attack Iran supposedly to keep it from acquiring nuclear weapons. From now on, one would have to be both a complete idiot and utterly mad to make so much as a peep about such an attack.

It is not as if there were no volunteers for the job at Israel’s highest levels. For example, Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman said, “Iran is not Japan or Germany, which are also on the verge of obtaining nuclear weapons. But they are responsible, peace-loving countries with good judgment and balance — things that Iran does not possess at all.” Japan and Germany are responsible, peace-loving countries with good judgment and balance, huh? Right — that was already proven on the flesh of the Jewish people in at least two world wars.

But still, as stupid, ignorant, racist and screwed up as our leaders are, they cannot do a thing about the Iranian issue except keep talk nonsense to the end of time. But the real and immediate problem is that our prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu -- whose life mission was and remains bombing Iran and saving the Jewish people from the dreadful Iranian holocaust -- is still there, with all his burning, trembling desire. So the question is: Where will he, and all of us with him, take that erection?

One does not need psychological models to predict where a worker whose boss has humiliated him is going to take out his frustration and anger. In some cases, he will scream at his unfortunate wife; in most, he will attack his poor children. So now that the boss has taken away the Iranian toy that we took care of with such devotion and diligence, binding ourselves to it with the bonds of Holocaust rhetoric, on whom will we take out our frustration and anger? On poverty? On Hezbollah? On society’s weaker sectors? On Hamas?

The phrase “a lovely and just war” is a precise match not only for the prime minister but also for the two people who see themselves as his successors, brothers Lapid and Bennett. All each of them needs to run for the coveted post is a pinch of gunpowder in the form of a “security record” — in other words, to be partners in conducting that little war, you know, the kind with as many fatalities as possible on their side and as few wounded as possible on ours.

So who will it be? It cannot be Syria. Syria is a good idea, since of all the potential targets, Syria resembles the Iranians the most. But on the other hand, the Syrians can also respond with rockets, and Hezbollah could join the party too. Besides, attacking Syria means getting into trouble with Russia, and that would not work too well. Hezbollah is also a problem, because they have lots of rockets and that could make trouble for the home front, not to mention its back and sides as well. So really, the best thing is to do the usual: Go for Hamas, which is just like Hezbollah, but in Gaza. After all, if we ram it to them, what can they do about it? Fire a few rockets at Be’er Sheva and the sea off Tel Aviv?

It is a tough decision, but it is certain that the decision will be, as always, determined and sensitive. Still, we have one request: Don’t attack during the FIFA World Cup games, Okay? Thanks.
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